Dreams
by spizzerinktum
Summary: His mother told him that the dreams would go away, that the dreams would stop. They never did. The dreams never stopped coming.


**A/N:** I apologize in advance for any mistakes and errors in the story.  
 **Warning:** Mentions of character death.  
 **Disclaimer:** I most definitely do not own Detective Conan.  
 **Summary:** His mother said that the dreams would stop. They never did. The dreams didn't stop coming.

* * *

How can you miss someone you've never met?

Heiji didn't know how that works, all he knew was that it felt like there's an enormous, painful hole in his chest that refused to go away. It got worse when he woke up, when the dreams were still fresh in his mind, branded into his memories.

He had been having them for as long as he could remember, dreams filled with an wide eyed child about the same age, full of images of a life that wasn't his. Now, Heiji wasn't an unhappy child by any means—he's pretty loud and rowdy—but the only time he felt truly happy, was when he was asleep. When he was awake, it just felt wrong.

Like something was missing.

Someone.

Some nights the dreams didn't come to him and those were the best and worst nights of all. They were the best because he wasn't haunted by visions of big emerald eyes, free to actually dream like a normal person, but also the worst because somehow the emptiness grew even larger with the absence and eventually engulfed him, suffocating him.

He'd only ever told one person about his dreams. When he was younger he hadn't realized that other people don't dream of the same person over and over and over. That it's not normal. His parents had dismissed it as an imaginary friend, someone Heiji had created in his mind.

He had believed it too for a while.

But there were things that made him doubt.

He never saw his imaginary friend during daytime, to start with. He never played with her, not even in his dreams. It was more like catching glimpses through the window to someone else's life. He had seen her play with other children but never with Heiji. It was very odd.

The only face he seemed to be able to remember upon waking up was that one girl—chubby cheeks and pig tails and skinny limbs—no matter how many people she encountered and interacted with in his dream.

He was expecting to grow out of his dreams just like his mother said he would. One day, she had said, he wouldn't need his imaginary friend anymore and the dreams would stop all on their own. It would stop.

They never did.

It didn't matter how many friends Heiji had, how many parties he went to, how much he had grown. They never went away. Always the same person, the same girl.

Heiji thought that maybe he's mad.

—

When he was younger, Heiji wanted to be friends with her. The moments when he watched her, playing with her friends in his dreams, she always looked like she had fun.

She's a bit prickly, not liking to be the butt of anyone's jokes, pleasantly overbearing and easily overwrought, but she never seemed to bear a grudge about it. Just a quick thump and whump on the arm ("Kazuha-chan, that hurts!" whined one of the other kids—freckles and braids) and then they're back to running around like idiots.

No, Heiji wasn't lonely. He had friends at school. He played over at their houses. But there was just something about this girl that had him intrigued. It was strange because she didn't really seem the type Heiji would hang out with normally (all of his other friends were, well, boys. No _girls_ allowed.). He did play around but he seemed equally happy to be quiet.

He liked reading. He liked playing police and thieves. He couldn't sit through any movies without any talking—unless it's a mystery movie. He often wondered whether this meant he and the girl in his dreams couldn't be friends if, you know, the girl was real, because people always said _opposites attract_.

And Kazuha was just as _loud_ and as _boisterous_ Heiji is.

That thought made him quite sad. Not that he was turned down (which did make him sad for a day or so but he got over it quick enough) but that she wouldn't like him. Heiji liked her a lot, but he didn't want to change himself just for her to like him. That was not Heiji's way of ninja. Heiji was not going to change for anyone. Instead he'd just have to bother the dream girl until she likes Heiji back. That'd definitely work.

Once Heiji grew older he realized more and more how childish that sounded. ' _Bother_ _her until she likes me back_ '? He sounded like a kid who was plotting to pull his friends' pigtails to make them notice him.

...which actually seemed like a fantastic idea. Although there's a slight problem now. Kazuha no longer wore her hair in pigtails. She had been keeping it in a ponytail ever since she joined her school's junior cheerleading club and started taking Aikido lessons. He wondered if pulling on a ponytail would have the same effects as pulling on pigtails.

Stupid, he thought. He's nine. He's grown up enough and observed enough to realize that if he wanted to be Kazuha's friend— _best friend_ —he needed to tow a fine line between playful banter and genuine annoyance. You know. If Kazuha _existed_. That's what he'd do.

He was twelve when he finally found out where Kazuha probably lived. He was reading the last chapter of one of his Ellery Queen book in his father's office when he was practically forced to put it down and greet his father's guests. The beautiful but stern looking aunt was once his father's partner, and Heiji's eyes shone bright when he heard that she was previously the Chief Detective of their police district. That was, before she eagerly took a transfer to Interpol, and was allocated to London afterwards.

Heiji noticed her son, just a little taller than he was, light brown hair that wasn't commonly seen in Japan, clad in what Heiji immediately recognized as Kazuha's school uniform. When asked, he did tell Heiji that he lived in London with his mom and _younger sister._ Heiji asked about the strange color of his hair, to which the boy told him that it's common at where he lived. The boy's reply was so snobby that Heiji got so irritated and completely forgot to ask what his sister's name was. Or which school did he go to.

He was seventeen when he first realized he's in love with the girl and he felt sick. He knew because she was all he had ever thought about (aside from cases and kendo and school lessons, of course. He may be a detective but he's still in high school).

He had no choice at night but even during the day he found himself remembering what movie Kazuha had been watching. He thought about Kazuha's seemingly soft hair and toned arms. He daydreamed about Kazuha's wide eyes and how much wider they would go if Heiji surprised her with a kiss.

A kiss. Sharing a kiss with Kazuha.

Kazuha, who wasn't real.

Heiji woke up then.

That night before he went to bed, he put his hands over his burning cheeks. He had _fallen_ for someone who didn't even exist. It's abnormal. He had imagined a person and then fixated on them like some kind of creep and that was absolutely messed up whichever way you think about it.

He spent the next two years of his life dating anyone who asked him out. The relationships never lasted. He could admit to himself that he wasn't really interested in any of them the way he should be. They were pretty, he enjoyed their company and everything was cool but something just wasn't right. Never seemed to be _enough_. So bad they weren't even relationships anymore.

It felt like he was searching desperately anyone to fill the hole in his chest, to take away the ache he felt when he woke up and realized once again that the girl he was in love with didn't even _exist_.

Then Kazuha's brother died. Heiji's dreams were filled with heart-wrenching sobs so painful that he wished he could reach out and comfort Kazuha. She never cried during the day, only at night.

Heiji watched day after day, night after night, as she withdrew into her shell. He heard her calling out her brother's name, repeating it until it sounded weird. He wanted so much to hug and kiss Kazuha's pain away.

Heiji tried to stop sleeping after that.

It wasn't what he wanted anyway. Heiji wanted love. Seeing Kazuha mourn over her brother made him realize that he should make the most of the time he had. He didn't want to waste time on meaningless relationships anymore. He didn't want to think about some unreal person anymore.

He knew that until he got rid of his feelings for Kazuha, he wouldn't be able to move on. The only problem was that he simply didn't know how. But he knew for sure that he couldn't just spend the rest of his life hung up on a figment of his imagination.

He had tried dating other people and that hadn't worked. He even tried not sleeping for three days in order to break the cycle. It turned out to be a terrible idea. He had collapsed in class, raving about imaginary people around one beaming, glowing one, and unfairness, and the same wide eyes and ponytail.

He was not doing that again in a hurry. He didn't know what else to do except burying himself in studying and friends and hoping it all goes away eventually.

So that was exactly what he did. He continued _dreaming_ and waited and hoped always.

—

Hattori Heiji was now twenty one, a third year criminology student at university. He had been solving even more cases than he used to back in high school, sometimes competing with Shinichi, but most of the time teaming up with him instead. His grades were impressive, as per normal, but things had been such a constant and he really needed more activities aside from studying and solving cases and kendo.

So when his other best friend (Kuroba Kaito, excellent Chemist and magician, also prankster) told him one of their friends (Hondou Eisuke, surprisingly competent future Environmental Engineer) had had to leave his part-time job due to university commitments and was looking for a replacement, Heiji jumped at the chance. A job's a job, after all.

And that was how Heiji ended up working at the one and only invention shop which sold geeky gadgets in the city. The owners, one very lovely but unique old man called Agasa (who in fact, was Shinichi's neighbor) and one girl who turned out to be Shiho (Shinichi's sarcastic girl BFF nonetheless).

Eisuke was one of the clumsiest person Heiji had ever met so how any of the gadgets in this shop survived was a mystery to Heiji. Or at least, how Professor Agasa was able to invent and fix and refix and refix. Heiji figured he was probably the most patient old man alive.

Then Shinichi started helping out at the invention shop too.

It's pretty dull, he'll be honest. There's rarely any customers, so Heiji did more homework than he did actual shop assisting. And solved more and more cases.

—

Once, Shinichi showed up with dark, dark circles under his eyes. He looked miserable and horrible. Heiji guessed he must've looked just as miserable and horrible when he avoided sleeping back then.

"Haven't been sleepin' well?" Heiji teased him.

Shinichi rolled his eyes and stifled a yawn. "Ugh. You wouldn't understand, Hattori."

"Oh? Try me."

—

A few months after Heiji started working that he met the girl in his dreams.

It was just another day. No customers, no rain, no cases, no particularly good food. He had already cleaned the place so there was nothing to do but try to work on his recently assigned essay.

The bell rang. Someone walked in and Heiji looked up from his papers to give the customary greeting of the shop when the words died in his throat.

Standing before him, the all too familiar emerald eyes already scanning the gadgets lined up in the shop, is the girl from Heiji's dreams. She's a little taller than Heiji was expecting, less than five inches below Heiji's own height, but he would recognize that face anywhere. The girl didn't seem to notice him, just going about her business in the shop, eyes darting back and forth at the racks, seemingly at random.

Heiji felt like his brain had stopped.

She's not an imaginary friend. She's never just an imaginary friend. She's real.

Finally she plucked something out from one of the compartments—it might be Agasa's tracking device or whatever, Heiji really wasn't paying attention to it at all, he was too engrossed in observing her features, her expression—and headed to the cashier. She looked up. Their eyes met. Time seemed to stop.

There's a momentary widening of the girl's eyes but then, nothing. She didn't recognize Heiji. Heiji didn't know how he felt about that.

Relieved? Scared?

Heiji rang up her purchase and mumbled his way through the sale—he didn't remember what he said, he was just so fixated on the girl's face—and then she's gone, just like that, walking out of the store and Heiji's life.

Of course this was the moment Kaito chose to waltz through the door, loudly announcing his entrance with a 'tadaa!'. Heiji didn't even greet him back with his usual 'yo!".

"Hattori, you okay?" Kaito said, in an uncharacteristic show of concern as he approached the counter. "You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"Yeah." Heiji says distractedly. "Fine. Just tired."

He's not fine.

The girl of his dreams did exist. She's real. And had a life that apparently did not include weird stalker dreams of Heiji.

Oh God.

Is he insane? Is he a psychic or something?

Oh God.

Kaito gave him a skeptical look. "You don't look fine. You look like shit."

Then Shinichi and Agasa walked out from the stockroom (seriously, why was everyone coming at once? Heiji simply wanted to freak out in peace goddammit).

"Kaito-kun!" Agasa called. "It's nice to see you! You haven't been over in so long!"

"Hakase!" Kaito shouted back, immediately draping himself over the elderly man. Both Kaito and Shinichi indulged Agasa's need to bestow affection on them at this time. At least it meant they weren't paying attention to him.

His mind was all over the place, trying to comprehend what just happened. He didn't even know where to begin.

It made him dizzy. He looked around and saw Shinichi watching him like a hawk, his expression inscrutable. He had his detective mode expression on. Heiji gave him a weak grin but Shinichi didn't return it—he just made some kind of humming noise and turned around.

Maybe I should wait till I get home ta think about this, Heiji decided.

He'd never told anyone about Kazuha and with good reasons. He's not going to let someone find out now.

—

The rest of his shift was a torture. Time had dragged on like a limping athlete crossing a finish line and he's all but ready to weep tears of joy by the time the end had rolled round. He hadn't thought about Kazuha at all, but he had thought about not thinking about Kazuha more than he'd care to admit. It's frightening.

Kazuha.

His mind raced. How was this even possible? Honestly he almost preferred the idea that he was a creep with an imaginary friend than this—that he'd been dreaming of a real person.

He knew Kazuha so well. How she looked when she smiled, what would make her cry, the ticks that show she's nervous. While he's glad he's not the kind of psycho that made up a person down to those fine details, it's just weird to know these things about a person you've never ever met. Or supposedly just never met. Whatever.

Maybe it wouldn't have been so weird if Kazuha had shown any sign of knowing him but she hadn't. She hadn't so much as blinked in Heiji's direction, let alone gasped or anything that might have shown that Heiji wasn't alone in this madness.

Could Kazuha had been dreaming about him too all this time? It's possible right? If Heiji had been dreaming of the girl? Maybe it could be true the other way around too. Heiji needed to know. It's so tiring, carrying a secret alone. Besides, Heiji was not the type to sit around passively when opportunities are handed to him.

 _That's it_ , he decided, _I have to find her_.

Worst case scenario Kazuha thought he's crazy and well, if that happens it's probably because Heiji really was going crazy.

Best case scenario Heiji gained a friend. That thought alone made it worth the risk.

—

Three days later Heiji was again at work and there's still no sign of Kazuha. In addition, Heiji had gotten no further on his quest to find something more concrete about her. His dreams were full of Kazuha's smiles (which were very beautiful and Heiji appreciated them, honestly) but nothing that might lead to them meeting again.

There were notebooks in his vision but he didn't have time to read them. Files. A lecture theatre. _Is Kazuha a student then?_ But there were plenty of universities in Tokyo so that's not much help.

Heiji groaned and let his head fall with a thump onto the desk. Why hadn't he paid more attention to his dreams before? Maybe he could have even found Kazuha before now, if he'd actually entertained the thought of Kazuha being a real person.

The bell on the door rang.

Heiji lifted his head from the counter. Time seemed to slow. There, standing in the doorway, framed by the sunlight cascading into the shop was Kazuha. The girl of his dreams. For a second Heiji thought he might still be dreaming.

"Kazuha?" He whispered.

Shock passed over Kazuha's face.

"Do you know me?" She asked slowly. Heiji mentally kicked himself because this was not how he wanted to reveal this. Maybe after he talked to Kazuha like a normal person instead.

"I…I know you."

"From school?" Kazuha looked curious now. Her eyes did that slight widening thing that Heiji had seen them do in his dreams when Kazuha was interested in something and holy moly she's even cuter in person.

He should answer. He wanted to but the words kept getting stuck in his throat. His palms were sweating. His face might be sweating. He's pretty sure he looked gross and all that cycles round his brain was _this is not how I wanted this ta go, this is not how I planned this!_

"Not really." He managed to say.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I'm not good with faces." Kazuha shrugged apologetically but Heiji was sure she's acting. The Kazuha he knew from his dreams was very good at acting—and remembering faces. Did this mean the Kazuha in front of him is not his Kazuha? Or was she lying?

"Yes you are." He accused mindlessly. "Ya've always been good at it."

Then he realized what he had just said.

Kazuha was looking at him like he's a particularly interesting puzzle, which was one better than disgust or panic but there's nothing deeper than Heiji can read. Blank.

"Why won't I get a dog?"

"Huh?"

"Why won't I get a dog?" Kazuha repeated calmly.

He looked up at Kazuha, who was waiting patiently on for Heiji's answer. She seemed calm. A little defiant even. And… nervous?

Could it be? Could it be that Heiji wasn't _alone_ in this?

"Saguru." Remembering a certain name he used to hear in his dreams, a name which used to be the main source of her great distress, he answered carefully, knowing full well that this was a particularly touchy subject for her. "They remind you too much of your brother."

Kazuha's expression didn't change, but something in her eyes did. Heiji felt his heart sink in his chest. Had he read the whole situation wrong?

"I've never told anyone that." Kazuha said grimly.

"I know."

"You dream of me."

And it wasn't a question.

Heiji stepped out from behind the counter. It took two seconds to cross the distance between them and gather Kazuha up in his arms. She smelled good. Kazuha's arms wrapped around Heiji and he let out a sigh of relief.

"You're real." He murmured. "Thank god."

"Of course I'm real, aho." Kazuha muttered into Heiji's collarbone. "Just took me a bit longer to find you than I'd anticipated that's all."

There's a million things Heiji wanted to say to that—how did Kazuha know he's not a figment of her imagination? How long had she been looking?

He wanted to apologize for not looking for her himself. He wanted to thank Kazuha for doing the searching for both of them. But of all he wanted to tell Kazuha—

"I love ya."

Kazuha sighed. "I know. You say it a lot, you know?"

Heiji smirked. He picked Kazuha up by the waist and swung her around in the store, barely missing an electronic flying surfboard.

"Ahou! Watch it!" Kazuha squeaked. Heiji laughed again, but stopped.

"I love ya." He said. He waited for a response, marvelling as he did so at the gorgeous woman he had in his arms. Kazuha looked like she's trying very hard to suppress a smile.

"I'm not saying it." Kazuha grumped. "You've still got to make it up to me for not believing I was real and making me do all the work."

"How long will that take?" Heiji asked, aghast.

Beamed she did. " _Forever_. You better start now."

—

Heiji introduced Kazuha to everyone as his childhood friend who had just recently moved back to Japan from London. Which was extremely true no matter how they think of it, because it turned out that she had also been having dreams of Heiji for so long since she could remember.

Also, the dreams had stopped.

But he no longer felt empty when he woke up. In fact, on some mornings he woke up to find her curled up next to him, and he dared not kid—it was one of the best feelings ever.

But he hated it when they had morning classes, which meant his joyful morning routine had to be ruined by waking her up.

His joyful morning routine included re-draping their sheets over her bare shoulders and just.. watching her sleep and breathe. Dreams or not it didn't matter, he loved watching Kazuha.

And waking her up could get disastrous. She was an excellent actor (no worries, he's an excellent detective who could see through her masks) and she could be very very persuasive. And most of the time, he ended up back in bed with her.

Like now, he was sitting in a coffee shop with Shinichi and Kaito, both of whom were successfully persuaded into having blind dates with Kazuha and her two friends. Heiji grumbled. Not that he minded hanging out with his buddies and girlfriend-slash-childhood friend-slash-girl of his dreams. But he wanted to have more alone time with her, seriously.

Kazuha didn't keep them waiting for too long. And when she stepped into the coffee shop with two other girls who looked disturbingly alike (one with very toned legs called Mouri Ran, and the other with slightly messier hair by the name of Nakamori Aoko) that Heiji thought were twins had it not been for his sharp observation skills, he saw Shinichi's and Kaito's eyes went as wide as saucers.

At first Heiji didn't think of it much. He merely smirked when he saw his friends rendered speechless, probably striked by Kazuha's girl friends' beauty or something.

 _Kazuha's still hotter_ , he thought to himself.

But when he heard Kaito and Shinichi murmuring what sounded like "Oh _God._ " and "She's... _real_ " simultaneously from his left and right, realization dawned on him.

"Yeah," Heiji whispered, a grin on his face as he turned to watch Kazuha, who was ordering her food. He could finally talk about the dreams he used to have.

"They're real."

* * *

 **P.S.** I was trying to write Hakuba and Kazuha as a pair of siblings and I got off the track. Anyway, thanks for reading!


End file.
